A common question I get from my friends is, “I have a CAT exam coming up. What should I do to prepare for it?”
“Well,” I tell them, “first of all, I’m glad that you asked this question. You see, there’s a right way and a wrong way to prepare for the test.”
They usually stare at me in silence, waiting for me to tell them the right way.
I say, “Before you study anything else, go out and buy yourself a smartphone.”
“Huh?” they ask in surprise. I guess that they were expecting some new technique or something like that.
To which I reply: “You may think that a smartphone is nothing but a headache. You can’t study for your test on it, you might end up wasting time playing games on it or chatting with your friends over Facebook, and it’s going to be a distraction.
But no! A smartphone is the key to success in the CAT exam.”
“How?” they ask me again.
I continue, “A smartphone allows you to answer questions correctly in the CAT exam. Here’s how…”
They’re still looking at me in anticipation.
“Well,” I say, “the secret is to use the ‘Disable right-click’ browsing option.”
“What?” they exclaim in frustration. Apparently, this has taken them by surprise.
“I know, I know,” I tell them. “What a wonderful world we live in! Right-click is enabled by default. This makes it possible for you to download from Google Drive or Dropbox or access any website at all by right-clicking on the link and choosing ‘Save Link’. But…you can’t do that in the CAT exam. You have to use a fake account if you want to access Google Drive or Dropbox or any other website. And here’s how you do it…”
They ask, “Why is this so?”
“You can get away with murder if you know what tricks to employ,” I answer. Then I slap them lightly on their cheeks to get them into the mood.
I continue, “You see, the CAT exam prohibits you use of right-click for a very simple reason. It doesn’t want candidates like you to access any website at all. Every other website has ads that are meant to distract you during the test. You might accidentally click on one such ad and waste valuable minutes. If they allowed you to use the right-click option, this would not be possible.”
“So,” I continue further, “as soon as you turn on your smartphone, disable the right click. After that, all you have to do is follow a simple rule: don’t browse the Internet.”
“But what about Gmail?” they ask me. “I want to access my email.”
“Don’t access Gmail,” I say, shaking my head in pity for their ignorance. “Gmail is very distracting! It contains all kinds of ads that might tempt you to click on them. If this happens, you will be disqualified immediately.”
They ask me in disbelief, “Disqualified? Why?”
“You know,” I say. “CAT exam is a very strict test.”
“But who will read my email if not me?” they ask.
To which I reply: “CAT knows what you need and it has put in place a system that will read your email and send replies. It’s called gmailbot.”
Now they’re looking at me, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.
I add, “In fact, CAT really does everything for you. To access Gmail from your smartphone, simply text ‘GMAIL’ to 09XXXXXX. This will send an auto-reply to your phone that says, ‘Your gmail ID is XXXXXX’ and a link where you should check for new messages. So that’s all you have to do! No need to remember Gmail ID or anything.”
I give them time to let this information sink in.
“You see,” I continue, “CAT is not only the fairest test in the world but also one of the easiest. It’s really sad that hardly anyone knows about this.”
I walk away smirking to myself at how stupid other coaching institutes are for wasting their time teaching useless techniques instead of telling students about CAT.
After all, I got 99 preparation in the CAT exam only because of this one technique…and I intend to keep it a secret!
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